too big to walk?

Today was a reality check of an undesired direction I’m headed in.  I didn’t go into the office due to the weather situation, so we got stuck in work apartment.  I basically barely did anything physical today.  I spent the majority of the day sitting on the couch in front of the television or my laptop.  I didn’t do much tending to my child even.  My mother (who usually stays with me whether I’m in my home home or work apartment) pretty much did everything for my child.  I got her dressed and put milk in a bottle twice.  I took her out to the the snow for about 10 minutes.  That was it.


The most action I took today was cooking.  I spent around 45 minutes in the kitchen prepping 2 casserole dishes, and by the time I sat back down, I was exhausted and my knees were aching.  After that, I barely got back up for more than  5 minutes at a time.  In retrospect, what I’m most upset about is I had a day off and I barely played with my baby.  She has a lot of energy and is all over the place.  My mom is great with her, she’ll get on her hands and knees and pretend to be a horsey or doggie.  It’s really hard for me to do that.

I also barely flinched when she tried to unroll a whole roll of paper towels in the living room.  She also knocked over a coffee mug full of coffee because I wasn’t fast enough to grab her hand.

My mother relayed to me that my brother said if I continue on this path in one year I won’t be able to walk anymore.

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